When we are sad it is worth asking ourselves some useful questions to understand the reason for our state of mind. Being sad is sometimes perfectly normal, it is useless to look for explanations that would not be found.
There are times when it seems to us that the life we are living fails to shake our interest, much less our enthusiasm. Moments in which we simply let ourselves be carried away by the current, without wanting to intervene on what happens to us.
Other times, however, we are aware of the reason for our sadness; be it a loss, a disappointment or a failure. The reason that led us to be sad is so intense that we can’t think of anything else.
There are times in life when being sad is inevitable. In others, however, we could easily do without it, but we can’t because, without knowing how, we unconsciously continue to feed our sadness.
Questions to ask when we are sad.
Did I do something that I feel guilty about?
Many times our sadness does not disappear because neither does the guilt that sustains it. The unfortunate thing is that often that guilt is purely imaginary, because it does not correspond to a fact caused by our responsibilities, but more to a fantasy that we are neither able to identify nor to elaborate.
Guilt often relates to an event that negatively affected both others and ourselves. We blame ourselves for it for the simple fact that we cannot digest or remedy that event.
Have I been true to my wishes?
Another reason that causes sadness, especially when we don’t identify a specific cause, is dissonance. For one reason or another, we have held back our desires, our dreams or our relationships.
This generates a feeling of profound discomfort towards ourselves. The sadness in this case goes beyond the simple externalization of this inner discomfort. More than sad, we are angry with ourselves. We feel pressured by an ambivalence in which we want something, but we get something else.
Am I loyal to my beliefs?
Similar to the previous one, this question places the emphasis on the contradiction between what we think and what we put into practice. At times, for example, it may have happened to us that we have witnessed an injustice that, however, out of fear, negligence or insecurity, we have not been able to face.
Sometimes we have bowed to someone else’s ideas simply out of the need not to want to go against the grain. Deep down, we know that those ideas clash with our true beliefs and we feel a feeling of anger towards ourselves. As in the previous case, reproach makes us sad.
Did I eat and sleep well?
Sometimes when we are sad it is not due to our emotions and thoughts. Often it has more to do with a lifestyle that is too hectic or characterized by a lack of personal care. Fatigue and poor nutrition can also lead to a state of sadness, especially if prolonged over time.
Lack of rest affects our emotions considerably. The mere fact of not sleeping enough leads us to bring out a state of indifference and nervousness towards everything around us. Similarly, when we don’t eat right, our brain suffers, making us irritable and depressed.
What would make me feel better?
This is perhaps the most important question to ask when we are sad. Sometimes we can’t find the answer right away, even though it’s almost always there in front of us. In the short term, simple actions like breathing fresh air, taking a walk or getting away from a certain environment help a lot. In the long run, changing jobs, solving problems with your partner, or getting professional support can help.
Sadness as such is never either positive or negative. It is a reality that we all experience and that we all know well. Yet, if it occurs recurrently, it is important to understand the cause. There is certainly something struggling to rise to the surface and letting it rise could lift our mood.