When we start a romantic relationship, especially for the first time, we find ourselves faced with several obstacles to deal with.
It is an inevitable and very common problem, since we are starting to get to know a person thoroughly and we are trying to fit his pieces with ours… Possibly, without either of us being skewered from one corner of the other.
In the interaction at the beginning of a couple relationship there are several difficulties to be faced. Our expectations will gradually collapse and we will have to deal with the harsh reality. This step can generate a lot of frustration if we have idealized our partner too much.
These obstacles, in general, serve to get to know each other better . If we can overcome them, we will begin to build solid foundations on which to build the relationship. Since it is a slow process of adaptation, we will have to accept the complications, and in some cases arm ourselves with patience to overcome them. This is an inevitable part of the process of discovering and rediscovering the person with whom we have started a relationship.
1. Learn to communicate
Being able to communicate in a profitable way is one of the main challenges that a couple faces, especially at the beginning of a relationship, when they have not yet built shared dynamics. For communication to be healthy, we must learn to express what we need.
A person who has been with us for a long time will probably have become an expert in interpreting our non-verbal language. A new partner, on the other hand, will not have this experience behind them and could see an advantage if our conversation is open and unencrypted.
Very often communication is ruined by the misunderstandings and erroneous interpretations we give to the words and gestures of the other, almost automatically. To overcome this obstacle, a good idea is to always ask, before running into misunderstandings. Above all, remember to focus all your attention on listening to the other when he talks to you.
Learning to communicate in a couple is a challenge that you will have to face sooner or later. If we don’t learn to communicate, the relationship is bound to collapse. It is a fundamental pillar for the proper functioning of the couple relationship, so we cannot neglect it.
Good communication is based on respect, empathy, listening and understanding, expressing our needs without underestimating those of our partner.
2. Get your feet back on the ground
Idealization is a component strictly related to falling in love. It is inevitable to notice especially the positive aspects of the partner when the relationship is in its infancy. However, we must try to keep our feet on the ground if we want our expectations not to stray too far from the real characteristics of the person in front of us.
If we put a blindfold on to continue living in our fantasy world, where everything our partner does is wonderful, sooner or later our house of cards will collapse and frustration will not give us peace.
We must be aware that even if our partner has many positive aspects, there will also be sides of his character that we do not like. After all, it is from respect that true love is born; when we are ready to see the other person as they really are, without wanting to change them.
3. Try to fill the void
Our partner does not have the task of meeting our expectations or even filling our inner emptiness. Looking for someone to not feel alone or to be able to forget bad experiences with exes is the first premise that will ruin our relationship. If we have gaps, we must be able to fill them ourselves, even if others can contribute to enrich their content.
If we are not comfortable with ourselves, we cannot expect the other to resolve our conflicts and give us the peace and serenity we need in our life. No one can do the work for us to resolve our internal conflicts, not even our partner.
A healthy relationship is about being with each other to share who we are and not out of needing to fill our voids. If we are running away from loneliness, we will fall into the mistake of not being able to be with ourselves.