Sometimes It’s Nice To Hear How Important We Are

Sometimes it's nice to hear how important we are

Sometimes we need to hear an “I love you”, a “you are important to me” or a “thank you for being who you are” . Knowing that others love us is not an act of weakness. We are not trying to feel special, but to listen aloud to what the heart feels, to see ourselves recognized and appreciated in words, with a sincere voice.

Remember: love is neither intangible nor untranslatable, it is not smoke, it is not a perfume, because the verb “to love” is expressed in all five senses and it is only in this way that we feel nourished, comforted. When creating a bond, never take feelings for granted. The “you already know what I feel” is not enough to fuel the relationship and the “if I am with you there will be a reason” can sometimes arouse more doubts than certainties when we feel we really love someone.

Almost no one needs to be constantly told how important it is for others, but having at your side people who do not speak the language of emotions, who do not perceive the need to be recognized and appreciated through words, can suffocate. Sometimes these shortcomings can even fuel doubts, uncertainties and enormous internal voids.

Often the person who suffers from the lack of an emotional affection expressed through the word, is forced to transform himself into an interpreter of gestures. To read the affection in the looks, the preference through the actions, the sincerity through the daily behaviors on the part of those who are unable to voice what they hear. In the long run, such an effort can tire …


The need to listen and be told that you are important to someone

Feeling love, affection and recognition in every atom of our senses, in every vibration of our beats and in every connection of our brain cells gives us balance, well-being and fullness. The human being is genetically programmed to connect with his fellow men, because this is how survival is guaranteed, because only in this way can it advance, evolve and grow as a species.

Consequently, no one should consider themselves a weak or dependent person if they feel a lack in their partner or in the people they love because they do not receive a word of affection, a gesture of esteem translated into a loving phrase, an expression that demonstrates empathy and feeling. For our brains, this is a very significant gesture, because phrases like “thank you”, “you are fantastic” or “I like to have you by my side” from time to time should be not only natural, but logical and necessary.

On the other hand, we cannot forget an essential element. Not only adults need to be told how important they are to others. Children also need these gestures as well as proper nourishment and strong hands to support them as they learn to walk. They need them much more than those expensive clothes or toys that they ask us all the time.

The importance of the emotional bond and its quality determine many future behaviors; in this way, all those children during their childhood grow up in an environment made of emotional fragility, insecurity or parental neglect, are much more likely to develop behavioral disorders, as well as difficulties in using correct emotional language.

dad with child

Speak to me without fear, speak to me from the heart

Emotional illiterates abound in this excess, and we do not refer only to those suffering from that affective-cognitive communication disorder called alexithymia. It is a more complex and profound dimension, which has to do above all with the way in which we are educated. We can find it in many of our daily environments, such as school or work. Those places where “emotional predators” abound, and “emotional donors” are lacking.

We see it in children who are bullied at school or on social networks, we see it in leaders unable to create an empathic, respectful and creative working climate. We see it in our way of communicating with others, where we are convinced that the simple use of emoticons and smiley faces is enough to build a meaningful and rewarding language.

happy couple

But is not so. There is a lack of the application of emotional intelligence. Because emotions are not lived in an abstract way, they are not widespread. Life is not a David Lynch film in which the narrative language, however fascinating and symbolic, is often devoid of feeling. Life needs a strong feeling, love and certainties.

We must, therefore, make  an effective use of language, let’s make it an instrument that creates and enhances. We must be courageous, we must allow our heart to give affection and feeling, connecting with others through the use of positive words and phrases that convey true love.

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