Self-esteem Is Neither Self-centered Nor Arrogance Nor Superiority

Self-esteem is not self-centeredness or arrogance or superiority

Self-esteem is not self-centeredness or arrogance or superiority or pride. Self-esteem is loving each other, it is seeing in our physical and psychological mirror a healthy and beautiful, protected and aware image.

There are people who show their image with arrogance, who highlight their strengths and struggle to hide all their weaknesses; people who show themselves perfect and who claim to never make mistakes.

These people have a lack of self-critical thinking and do not love each other completely, as they hide their true image behind a mask that tries to be perfect, which is impossible.

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The difference between self-centeredness and self-esteem

The ego is the basis of our identity and, consequently, it is also the basis of self-esteem and self-centeredness. These two concepts can be diversified very simply: self-esteem is a healthy and tolerant being; self-centeredness is an empty, unreasonable, excessive and intolerant being.

There is a story that makes it clear how self-esteem is expressed and how it does not manifest itself :

I was walking with my father, when he stopped at a bend and, after a moment of silence, he said to me:

– “Can you hear anything other than birdsong?”

I opened my ears wide and, after a few seconds, I replied:

– “I hear the sound of a chariot”.

– “Exactly” – said my father – “It’s an empty wagon”.

– “How do you know it’s an empty wagon if you don’t see it?” – I asked my father.

– “It is very easy to know when a wagon is empty, thanks to its noise. The more empty it is, the more noise it makes ”- he replied.

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I became an adult and even today, when I see a person who talks too much, who interrupts the conversations of others, who makes himself inappropriate, aggressive, presumptuous, bullying and belittling others, I have the impression of hearing my father’s voice saying :

The more empty the wagon, the more noise it makes.

Humility lies in silencing our virtues and allowing others to discover them. There are people who are so poor that they have nothing but money. And no one is more empty than he who is full of himself.

As you can understand from this text, in general, arrogance, arrogance and self-centeredness make a lot of noise. They are very different from the healthy perception of oneself, which is self-esteem.

You are no better than anyone, but you are no less either

The line between ego and self-esteem is very thin. We are not better or worse than others, we are simply different. Understanding diversity is, without a doubt, the basis of healthy self-esteem, which facilitates a positive attitude towards oneself and towards others.

A healthy self-image has the advantage of not making us so proud that we believe we are omnipotent when we get something; therefore, let us not fall into the clutches of self-centeredness or excessive and negative love towards our ego.

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A person who loves himself in a healthy way does not exalt his personality to the extreme, he does not want his feelings, thoughts and opinions to be the center of attention, neither of his own nor that of others. While a self-respecting person pushes towards equality of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, the self-centered person believes himself to be superior and more important for no reason.

Somehow, when we behave in an arrogant or self-centered way, we want to place more value on our thoughts and beliefs, belittling what others think and feel.

To conclude, we must not confuse egocentrism with self-confidence: with the former, a person tends to believe himself to be better in everything and to sin of pride; the second helps us to act with awareness of our abilities and limitations.

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Furthermore, if we love ourselves, it will be much easier for us to love others. However, it can happen that we get carried away with ego excess and make the mistake of being arrogant when we want to assert our opinions or our feelings.

The ideal is to analyze and prevent, given that the boundary that separates the two terrains is very thin and making the mistake of wanting to put our desires before those of others is very easy.

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