If your projects do not please others, if your dreams do not correspond to those of others, do it: go alone. Someone will follow you. Because sometimes it is necessary to put an end to a bad story to allow a new destiny to find you. Remember that the important thing is to advance being the protagonists of your path.
Carl Gustav Jung used to say that our vision is clearer if, instead of looking outside, we follow our heart. Because whoever looks outside dreams, but whoever pays attention to his interiority is wide awake. But you know: sometimes waking up is painful, because it involves disconnecting from many things.
We often forget that life is actually a journey. A dynamic journey in which permanence is false, in which the present is ephemeral by definition. A reality that creates uncertainty and in front of which we seek safety at any cost.
We frequently cling to the permanence of these sterile fields. Arid land, where only bad grass grows, and which we grab to feel safe, united at the root of something or someone who offers us a substitute for love, respect or happiness.
We are afraid of going on alone when we need it most, we are afraid of being seized by melancholy, of sinking into failure and of finding a discrepancy between reality and our expectations. Well, we must be very clear that moving forward also means detaching oneself from the present that hurts. It means walking along the path of detachment, filling the backpack with other projects and other winds that, sooner or later, will emerge on the horizon.
To carry out a good project, you have to cross the line of fear
There is an aphorism that reads “He who has never made a mistake has never done anything”. This is a phenomenon we often see. There are people who prefer to flatten themselves with the inertia of routine in order not to take risks. Because the bad and known things are always better than the good and unknown ones.
Because it is more appropriate to act as others expect than to surprise them (negatively) and be the black sheep. Adapting to the expectations of others and operating the autopilot gives us a feeling of safety. A front row seat to go and see a film where no one risks, where there are no unexpected consequences to face.
Going beyond the comfort zone actually implies crossing the fear line first and foremost, and not everyone is ready for this. Because? Fiona Lee, Ph.D. in social psychology at the University of Michigan, after an interesting research, concluded that the greatest fear of people is to fail.
Everyone has big and interesting projects in mind and hardly ever puts them into practice. People are afraid, they are bothered by the judgment of others and, above all, they are afraid of failing. Things like “my train has already passed” are repeated, and in the meantime they lose their gaze in the reflection of a window. They wonder what would have become of them if they had taken that step, if they had accomplished that project.
It’s not easy. Dr. Lee’s studies show very interesting aspects. For example, companies based on product innovation pay particular attention to the fact that people do not like changes, at least not abrupt ones. A change is the breaking of an established system and, therefore, implies fear, mistrust, the possibility of failure.
Our brains don’t like changes either. Its function is to guarantee our survival, for this reason it whispers the advice “it is better that you do not leave your comfort zone”. However, there are times when we have to do it, we have to take a step forward and cross the line of fear.
Dreams of life, projects and convulsive seas
If nobody likes your projects, don’t change them. Don’t let square minds make you fall into vicious circles based on unhappiness. Eventually, we all become Ulysses, lost in the sea of life, anxiously waiting to find ourselves. We dream of reaching Ithaca, where we can embrace calm, happiness and the realization of our plans.
It is time to cultivate change and to shape your dreams. Now we explain how to do it.
Strategies to shape your projects
By now it is clear that you have postponed an infinity of projects. There are so many that even remembering them hurts you. But keep in mind one thing: those who postpone their goals, dreams or desires out of fear do not live. Those who live other people’s lives are left without feet to walk. Those who offer air to let others breathe forget their need to breathe.
Change your perspective, cross the line of fear and fear of failure.
- You must understand that life is a journey. Advancing on new paths is the only opportunity you have to transform and conquer yourself.
- We are all orphans looking for our place in the world. If you cling to projects that do not belong to you, you will also be eternal shipwrecks.
- On this journey you will experience disappointments, failures and betrayals. Nevertheless, as good castaways, you don’t have to stop looking at the horizon. Any suffering will make you move forward. Each loss progress. If you have a dream in mind, you will always have enough breath to reach your goal.
- Remember that your mind is an expert in creating self-deceptions and illusions. It will make you complacent to get along with others, it will make you say “yes” when you really want to shout “no”.
Gain awareness and make self-esteem your best weapon. Listen to your intuition, that wise voice, that perfume of your essence that acts as a very efficient compass. It is never too late to give shape to your dreams and projects. And sometimes there is no other remedy than to devote yourself to it in solitude.