half of every problem “
(Jorge González Moore)
When we face difficult times, the worst thing they can say to us, and that we just can’t bear to hear, are phrases like: be positive! ; look at things from another point of view !; I too have lived through difficult times! This turns on a little light inside us that makes us think: are you really coming to give me some advice? I would like to see you drown in a glass of water, for me!
There are situations that are bigger than us, that arrive unexpectedly or we expected them but we cannot believe that they actually arrived, as in the fable of “wolf, wolf!” when you think that the wolf will no longer come and it is all a farce to scare us. The wolf, however, really comes and stays, at least for a while.
There are times when we are so angry with ourselves, with the world, with the answers that others give us, that being positive is really difficult …
These are those moments when we don’t see the light and the last thing we want are empty words or useless advice that all sound the same … The typical comforting phrases that even those who say them don’t believe in …
However, it is when we are not experiencing these moments that we should work harder, “do our homework” on ourselves and learn to be more positive, without getting tired, a little at a time.
An inner work that helps us when the time comes when we really need it, like a shoemaker reinforcing shoes before a long walk.
That inner work will be available for when the time comes, it will help cushion the blow, just like ready-to-walk shoes, which aren’t foolproof, but they help.
Precisely because it all depends on us, we choose to be positive.
What can help us be more positive?
1. “Evil of many, consolation of fools”. It is a good phrase, except for the “consolation of fools”. Life is full of disagreements for everyone and if, instead of looking at ourselves, we focused on those around us, we would realize that everyone’s life is full of good things and less beautiful things. We are not the only ones who have to go through difficult times.
2. There is a remedy for everything. It sounds silly, but mentally repeating this phrase to ourselves when we are anxious and thinking that everything will change, that it is only a passing situation, can give a lot of relief. However, we must act to find a solution, because things don’t fix themselves.
3. Surround yourself with positive people. There are people who have a special “feeling” for us and who are able to heal our wounds with a sincere hug, a sweet word and that special charm that not everyone has. Let them out, tell them what’s happening to you, be honest. You will see that then you will feel much better.
4. Seek your own haven of peace. Each of us has our own haven of peace, just go and find it. There are those who find comfort by expressing their sadness through dance, music or writing, others prefer an escape in the open air, for example in the mountains or in the countryside … Just find a place where calm and tranquility are yours allies.
Obviously, there are extreme situations that not everyone has to face and for which we would all need the help of a professional. However, in the face of daily difficulties, which often seem to want to come together, I choose to be positive.
“Being optimistic, as well as being inclined to hope, means having strong expectations that, in general, life events will turn out for the best, despite the failures and frustrations. From the point of view of emotional intelligence, optimism is an attitude that prevents the individual from sinking into apathy or depression and slipping into despair in the face of difficult situations. As in the case of hope, which is its close relative, optimism proves to be a source of great advantages (provided, of course, it is a realistic optimism; an optimism that is too naive can be disastrous) “