Hold Tight To The Love That Protects Your Independence

Hold on to the love that protects your independence

Loving a person is more than exposing your body: it is exposing your soul. However, in order to be defined as complete, that love must be reciprocated, there must be a balance.

Phrases like “my life has no meaning without her”, “I live for him”, “she is everything to me”, “he is the most important thing in my life”, “without her I don’t know what I would do” are expressions that must be banned from our way of thinking and from our vocabulary if our goal is to achieve a relationship that can be defined as healthy.

The intense sensation that one feels during falling in love has been studied in many fields: philosophical, literary, scientific, psychological … It is a state of mind in which the person feels flooded with happiness, joy, sensuality and many other sensations positive.

Falling in love is a kind of temporary obsession for a person, which produces different reactions such as the idealization of the loved one, the loss of concentration, the head in the clouds, the loss of appetite, insomnia … Anyway, all these effects are temporary, reality arrives in a short time, and with it the need to face it.

Love study

There are several studies and scientific researches that have shown that when we fall in love, our brain produces a combination of hormones similar to that generated during a chemical reaction. Levels of dopamine and norepinephrine increase and because of this we feel excited and full of energy, while the level of seratonin decreases, leading us to have obsessive thoughts towards the other person.

girl with flower

A study by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine reports the fact that when a relationship ends, just as happens to a person addicted to drugs, the consequences from the emotional point of view are so strong that, in some cases, they can lead to depression and obsessive behaviors.

Another study conducted in the United Kingdom on the psychology of love, for which 4000 people were involved, allows us to affirm that small gestures are those that matter most as they are most appreciated. Bringing coffee to your partner when he wakes up in the morning, letting him know every day how good it is, are small gestures that are more valuable than spending money on expensive gifts.

One aspect that is destabilizing couple relationships nowadays are social networks. According to a survey carried out by the United States Academy of Marriage Lawyers in 2011, an increase in divorces was perceived due to the use of social networks  that generate detachment, distrust and, consequently, couple problems.

couple quarrels

Love or addiction

One of the main problems that affects many people is the inability to know how to distinguish between love and addiction. A person who has an emotional addiction is usually distinguished by his low self-esteem, a submissive character and above all by the inability to live his life without constantly having someone around.

They are people who feel the irrepressible need to always have someone by their side, idealizing this person and living almost exclusively for her. Now let’s see in detail some characteristics that can denote emotional dependence.

  • The dependent person does not know how to live in solitude. They are people who always need a partner and who cannot enjoy moments of solitude. Generally, they always engage in new relationships to avoid being alone because they are unable to even think about a life without a partner.
  • They often have low self-esteem. Many times an emotional addict is a person with low self-esteem, who does not love himself and is therefore always looking for the approval and affection of other people to feel safe.

Lack of character and total self-denial

Addicted people can’t say “no”. They are complacent people who, for fear of their partner’s reaction or of breaking up, cannot say no, do not express their opinions when something bothers them or does not put them at ease and devote their lives to pleasing only the other person so as not to risk losing her.

heart

They also usually put their relationship ahead of everything else. An addicted person puts their relationship in front of their loved ones, friends and family, because it is the most important thing there is and does not allow anyone to ruin their relationship. What’s more, the addicted person puts their relationship even above themselves.

On the other hand, the partner of an “emotional addict” is often a self-confident, self-centered, dominating and not very affectionate person. For this reason, he finds his perfect half in an “emotional addict”.

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