Many people around us are used to asking and asking again without offering anything in return. We are talking about people who take advantage of certain situations and who believe that their interests are above all else.
They generally do not question their claims, they do not know the extent beyond their personal interest. Obviously there are more or less disguised forms of selfishness, but generally over time we learn to open our eyes and protect ourselves.
This is particularly dangerous for our emotional integrity, because others may also make us feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, even though it is doable.
To avoid this, we must find a mental balance in order to learn to weigh as objectively as possible if the benefit is mutual or if, on the contrary, it is always us who lose out.
Don’t confuse goodness with naivety
As they say, it’s one thing to be good, it’s another to be stupid. The fact is that we often end up being stupid in order not to give up being good. As a result, people can take advantage of us.
In these cases, it is normal to feel sad, defrauded, short-tempered and disheartened. Would we have ever expected someone we have done so much for would not answer us?
In this sense, once again the problem lies in expectations because those who expect a lot from others can be very disappointed.
Sometimes we give it all and get nothing in return
There is a fine line between the use and abuse of trust. Wanting to please others is a reason for happiness for us, so we must be careful not to fall into the error of giving everything just because we feel blackmailed or morally obliged.
However, not every time we feel this way means that they are using us, it is just that others do not react the same way and this makes us desperate and increases this feeling of being disposable in us.
The ideal is to pay attention, evaluate the situation well and be patient before coming to the conclusion that others are taking advantage of us. That is to say, we need to look more at facts than feelings.
Don’t allow others to turn you into what you are not
People who are like “vampires” only care about their interests. When we expose them, we need to step away from them and set emotional boundaries to prevent them from compromising our integrity and identity. Each bond is based on reciprocity, without becoming a “I give to you for you to give to me” contract.
Giving in order to receive does not mean giving back in equal measure, but it implies availability and mutual favor. Both people involved in the relationship must pass it on and feel it, otherwise the exchanges lack nobility.
Images courtesy of Nicoleta Ceccoli, Benjamin Lacombe and natalia_maroz.