We want to have everything under control and, when we seem to succeed, we succumb. Reconciling work, family, couple, home, friends is an increasingly frequent problem. Over the years we are increasingly busy, new responsibilities emerge and we want to fulfill each of them. This is one of the reasons that lead to Burnout Syndrome.
Among the people most affected by this syndrome are parents who sometimes see their interests annulled in favor of those of their children. If this is your case, now is the time to act; if we neglect you, paradoxical as it may seem, you will end up feeling exhausted and neglecting your children.
Exhausted mothers with burnout syndrome
Burnout Syndrome causes intense and harmful stress due to failed attempts to reconcile parental, social and self-care. Very often it is a problem that concerns the mothers, since traditionally they are the ones who take care of the children. Fortunately, more and more fathers are taking on a larger role than ever before, which also causes greater levels of stress.
Burnout syndrome is essentially this, acute and chronic stress that occurs when you have the feeling that everything is wrong, that you do everything wrong, that you are not in control of anything. Feeling stress keeps us alive, it is the result of the production of adrenaline or cortisol, the hormones that in the past helped us to keep us alive or to prepare us to run and safeguard our lives in front of a predator. The problem arises when this threat does not actually exist.
Today the causes of our stress are very different, but the body continues to prepare us for primitive survival situations. This is why it is essential to establish our priorities well.
What are the causes of burnout syndrome?
As already indicated, the main cause of Burnout syndrome is the stress generated by attempts to reconcile the most important aspects of our lives. Family, friends, work, our intimate life… are essential for all of us, and not being able to reconcile everything without falling into neglect generates frustration and anger.
While it may seem ridiculous, we often think that we are able to go to work early, go out with friends at night and, moreover, rest peacefully. Unfortunately, we are not superheroes or superheroes: we must learn to organize our time starting from a real perspective.
So how do we recognize it?
Understanding if we are exhausted mothers who suffer from this syndrome is simple: we cannot rest well, we think obsessively about the free time we cannot have, we blame our problems on the people around us. We prefer to isolate ourselves and leave the social life to take a break and sleep on the sofa. This will lead to isolation: loved ones can stop relying on us, thereby increasing our feelings of loneliness and guilt.
How to deal with the burnout syndrome ?
To find a solution to the problem, it is important:
- Accepting that we cannot do everything: we are unable to do everything we would like. Sometimes we think we have time for both responsibilities and hobbies, and that’s not always true.
- We must learn to delegate our duties. We should not be afraid to leave responsibility to others when our health is at stake. This way, we will be able to rest and resume our tasks when we feel ready.
- When we cannot delegate, we are forced to give up some wishes. If we don’t have time to clean and tidy up the house, we probably can’t afford a bigger one. Or, as much as kids want a pet, if we don’t have time for ourselves, it might not be a good idea to get one.
- To order our life, we must first order our mind, prioritize. There are probably aspects in our life that seem fundamental to us and, in reality, they are not. It is important to think about what we could do without.
- Don’t blame yourself (or others). Guilt is a feeling that prevents us from moving forward and that blocks us. We remember that, even if our intentions are good, when we want to reconcile everything and we do not succeed, we must remove the temptation to blame ourselves. Instead of doing this, it would be better to try to find solutions, and avoid blaming the people around us, even if this can give us momentary relief.
We don’t have to feel like a failure if we can’t get everything under control. Our mind is bigger than our hands, and that’s not bad. Our main goal should be to find time to enjoy the little moments, both alone and with others, find peace and pass it on to the people around us.