If you analyze the last week or just today, you will surely remember some moments when you did something for someone. Something that required a personal effort of you, both in terms of time and other resources. You may also remember some occasions when you rejected a request, because it seemed excessive to you.
In general, none of us is the emblem of generosity, but neither is a selfish monster: we are in an intermediate zone and we move towards one side or the other depending on several factors, including the moment of our life in which we find ourselves.
Many times you have wondered “Am I selfish if I do / don’t do this? “. This question arises spontaneously when someone makes a reasonable request to us and we have to decide whether to consent or not or when consenting involves a cost to us, or when we come up with ways to help others that may be more or less appropriate, depending on the our responsibility. Surely you will come up with many situations in which you have asked yourself this question, and answering it will not have been easy.
For this reason, today we present 7 elements that can help you to reveal selfish behaviors, both yours and others. When you notice these signals constantly in a person, they are certainly an indication of an excess of ego.
1. Don’t show yourself weak and vulnerable
A common and selfish reason for not helping someone is the fear of showing our weakness, of trying and then discovering that what we did did not help much. Some people think that helping those in need is a sign of inner weakness and insecurity.
They do not realize that each of us has weaknesses, and that these are not only human, but also necessary to learn and improve ourselves.
2. Don’t accept constructive criticism
Selfish people believe that everyone wants to belittle their work. This is why they do not want to recognize criticisms, not even constructive ones, they often defend themselves with irony, and it is difficult for them to admit that they were wrong.
3. Consider deserving everything
Selfish people are characterized by being inconsistent when it comes to pursuing their goals. We could say that they constantly change their minds and that they expect everything that comes to their minds to be taken into consideration and valued in the same way as the ideas of those who have more experience than them.
They may come to think that they will always be successful and will not mind having to eliminate someone from their path to get it.
4. Don’t listen to those who disagree
Selfish people perceive as enemies those who are mature and intelligent, since they are able to respect and listen to the opinions of others, contrary to what they do.
Listening to and learning from others is a good way to broaden our horizons and grow. It is important to select what we want to believe in, but stopping listening is never good: do not turn your back on the world for fear!
5. Criticize others behind them
Selfish people prefer to criticize behind their backs, because it is easier. Basically they are afraid of not being right and they do it from a distance, so that reality cannot ruin the idea they have drawn in their head.
They need to believe, for example, that all poor people are poor because they do not want to work and prefer to live on the street or because they do not have the willpower and perseverance sufficient to train. Through such opinions, they manage to mentally distance themselves from those who live in precarious conditions, removing the idea that a stroke of bad luck could put them in the same situation. After all, they are only afraid that their house of cards will collapse.
6. Exaggerate your successes
One of the most obvious and recognizable shortcomings of selfish people is their lack of humility. Humility is a precious and human virtue, necessary to grow and to socialize with those around us. Self-centered people will plug this personal void by trying to exaggerate and magnify their successes.
They will take on more responsibility than they have when the outcome has been a success, and they will look for the easiest way out when the project has failed. You can count on their cooperation, but only if the wind is in your favor. Challenges or risky situations are not for them.
7. Be afraid of risks
The risk arouses panic and terror in them . As we mentioned in the previous point, they don’t even consider the possibility of failure, because they avoid it. Of course, they don’t hesitate to criticize in a very harsh and stern way when others don’t get what they wanted. They are the first who will tell you “Well, it was predictable…”.
For sure you can recognize some of these behaviors in yourself, because they happen to everyone. When we realize this and understand that we are not taking responsibility for our actions, we begin to truly mature. That’s when we realize we’re hurting the people we love.
It is therefore time to grow and take risks. All of these elements will begin to change positively and blossom properly. Stop being selfish and give your love to life and to others.