They are out there, waiting for us, luring us into their trap and then emptying us. We like them and we trust them more than anyone else. We expect more, but we receive less and less. It is they: the emotional predators. They don’t want our blood, they want our emotional energy.
As in any type of relationship we form throughout our lives, emotional bonds also grow in one direction or the other depending on how we nurture them. Of course, if we feed them with sadness, envy, complaints or anger, we will only get unhealthy bonds.
Some relationships can even be too negative for us, so much so that they generate traumas that damage our emotional well-being. There are people who, more or less consciously, can make us feel depressed, gloomy, angry or even canceled.
What is certain is that, without self-defense strategies that keep them safe, the victims of toxic people develop unhealthy behaviors and symptoms (overeating, isolating themselves, having constant mood swings, always feeling tired, etc.).
We call them in the most different ways: toxic people, vampires or emotional predators, parasites, etc. And the truth is that, even if there are no real scientific studies about it , it is clear that there are people who manage to suck all our energies and lead us to a state of heaviness and resignation that makes life difficult.
Next we will trace the profiles of 5 types of people who intoxicate our emotions, sucking our energies like vampires and hunted down like real predators.
1. The cold person
This type of person often expresses their anger with a smile on their face; even when he has a worried expression, he is very adept at keeping calm. They are experts in masking and “softening” hostility. We’ve all used this technique a few times, but predators abuse it, causing us to lose our temper.
The best self-defense is to keep their behavior at bay by keeping our beliefs firm, setting boundaries and standing up for ourselves. We deserve to be treated with love and sincerity, we cannot allow them to talk to us as if they are always doing us a favor.
2. The narcissistic person
Everything revolves around them, since they believe they are the center of the world. They are self-centered, vain and always seek admiration and attention. They can appear to be intelligent and lovely people, until they feel that their leadership is threatened.
Since their motto is “I come first,” getting angry or assertively expressing our needs will have no effect on them. In fact, their empathy is usually absent or well hidden and they may have difficulty conceiving that they love someone outside of themselves.
The best self-defense is to appreciate their merits, but in a realist way, and to understand that we cannot expect too much from them. In the meantime, don’t let them crush you or make you feel inferior. You must understand that narcissism is a necessity for them. You can only get their cooperation by appealing to their interest and pointing out that they will benefit too.
3. The aggressive person
This predator seems to have the sole purpose of accusing, attacking, humiliating, criticizing and creating conflict. They are people addicted to anger, harbor grudges and want to punish others. They hit you all the time, tearing you apart with their fury.
The best self-defense is to protect your self-esteem so that their anger doesn’t destroy it. Take your time, take a break and breathe. Try to be neutral and balanced in the face of their anger attacks, and don’t respond until you are calm.
In this way you will be able to surprise them, letting them vent and then expose your version of the facts, forcing them to pay attention to you. You may even be able to empathize with them, showing interest in what is causing their anger.
4. The martyr person
They exist everywhere: martyrs are the kings and queens of the drama. They know how to make you feel guilty by pushing the buttons of insecurity and throwing salt on your wounds.
The best self-defense is to let go of the obsession with being perfect: we all make mistakes, but if you really feel guilty about something, then take your space, and cry if you feel the need.
You can also respond to their attacks with a positive affirmation like this: “ I understand your point of view, but when you say that you hurt my feelings. I would be grateful if you didn’t do it again ”.
5. The jealous and gossipy person
They are the people who stick their noses everywhere, who enjoy talking badly about the people behind them and ruining their reputations by spreading untrue rumors. When they do, everyone around them feels humiliated.
The best self-defense is not to worry about what these people say about us and not to take their gossip personally. The correct attitude is to ignore them and not lower ourselves to their level. If we are in a group and they start to speak ill of someone else, the best thing is to change the subject and not share any information with them.
However, it is also good to tell them clearly that you know what they are doing and that you don’t like it at all. You can talk to them by saying something like “ Your comments are very offensive, how would you feel if they said something like that about you? Please stop talking bad about me ”.
Try to identify which type of people who are causing you emotional pain, and generate your own self-defense mechanisms to prevent them from harming your psychological well-being. Distance yourself from these toxic people will only do you good!